Life is hard for Archie. It often seems like the world is out to get him. People are always telling him what to do – ‘Eat your tea Archie!’, ‘Don’t lick the bus stop Archie!’, ‘Stop putting Mummy’s phone in the bin Archie!’ And then one day his heart is shattered when he learns his parents are to replace him with a younger sibling – the utter bastards! The only comforts he finds are in his best friend Amelie who teaches him all the good swear words, and the sweet relief he gets from sinking his teeth into other people’s limbs. From naked protests to dealing with other people looking at your things! This is a no-holds-barred account of life told through the eyes of Archie – a creatively stifled, modern day toddler.